What it's actually like to live in an abusive relationship
It's just a joke....
I always told my husband how upset I was at gaining weight. I would ask, could he see it? if it changed how he thought of me? etc.
He would always reply, Yes.
When I got upset, he would say, "would you rather I lied?".
Things got worse, he commented on every outfit, especially before going out which made me feel like I was ugly and my self-esteem was non-existent.
Our kids were young and learning how to tell jokes. My husband always made me and my weight the object of his. Because it was a 'joke' he and the kids would laugh and I felt I couldn't take offence.
One day they did this in front of a family member, who pointed it out, my husband said of the kids, "well I didn't tell them to say it, but they are funny".
I felt once someone else saw it was unacceptable it almost gave me permission to see it too.
It was much worse in reality, everything I ate, every shop I did he would criticise for the "bad" foods I bought and how he would say "only trying to help you".
Every time I put a bit of chocolate to my mouth he would say "no wonder you're getting fat".
If I cried he would say "well you're the one that said it not me".
Made me feel even worse about myself.