and I remember how quiet we all were to begin with. Some of my wee wummin could barely say their name during their introductions let alone utter a word about the abuse they suffered. Some of my wee wummin had already completed the programme and were doing it for their second and third time. Most of us start off at Jubilee House thinking the same thing – that we’re not worthy of being there. We compare our abuse to our other wee wummin; we think that because it wasn’t physical that it pales in comparison to another wee wummin who was nearly killed by her abuser. Some of my wee wummin endured abuse that was so calculated and cunning that they didn’t even realise they were being abused. In truth, there is no minimum or maximum level of abuse and Jubilee House quickly teaches us that. Over the 12 weeks Fiona went through the programme with us with such delicate but firm encouragement. Such is her knowledge and experience in being an Independent Domestic Abuse Advocate, she knew the perfect balance to deliver the programme for all of us wee wummin to fully benefit from it. We learned all the different types of abuse; how to spot the warning signs and red flags early on and we were also taught why abusers behave in the way they do. It’s been the most poignant course I’ve ever been on and has completely changed my life. I sat in some sessions and could see how tight the grasp of abuse was around some of my wee wummin’s necks. The ones who could barely say their name out loud or the ones who sat in tears when a particular session brought back painfully triggering memories. I also spent weeks watching my wee wummin start to breathe again as the sessions helped loosen the grasp. They started to find their voices and share their stories and by the end of the programme I saw it in myself, too. I hadn’t realised that I had also been holding my breath, so tense from past trauma and so detached from the person I used to be. I completed the Freedom Programme last year and attended more session with my wee wummin doing the Empowerment Programme where we were taught amazing life skills to enable us to live a safe and secure life after our abuse. I now visit Jubilee House almost every week to attend the Peer Support Group. It’s been amazing watching more and more wee wummin walk through the doors, complete the programmes and become part of the Jubilee House family. The group is run by Nicola and Jillian who have held themed weeks for the past few months where we’ve learned journalling, clay modelling, crocheting, read poetry, artistry and had occasional lunches for Christmas and Burns Supper. We’re encouraged to try new things, challenge ourselves and to do so in a safe and supported environment, all while getting a cheeky wee sandwich and a cuppa. It's hard to truly understand the impact domestic abuse has on you. You feel it but you don’t know why you feel it. You can’t explain your emotions because you don’t understand them. You can’t think straight because your mind is being controlled and manipulated and eventually it strips you of everything you once were. You lose yourself and it becomes almost impossible to imagine ever finding yourself again. If you’re fortunate enough you’ll find a sanctuary like Jubilee House. It’s become such a vital point of connection in so many of our lives and I love telling my friends and family how much I look forward to seeing my wee wummin. We start Jubilee House as complete strangers with one thing in common – we’ve all suffered at the hands of an abuser. We share our stories, we cry, a tissue is quickly offered, the hugs immediately after. The tears are wiped away and eventually a smile starts to form. The support network is so tight that you begin to see you aren’t a victim, you’re a survivor. A survivor surrounded by the bravest, strongest and most beautiful wee wummin who all have your back. I think back to day one and barely recognise myself. I no longer feel that tightness around my neck. I no longer deem myself unworthy. Not only have I found myself again, I’ve learned so much more about myself. I’ve been supported and encouraged to see the best in myself and understand my value. I know how to avoid unsafe situations and to walk away from things that are detrimental to my wellbeing but best of all, I can help other wee wummin. I can share my experiences and help them the same way I was helped. I think of my quietest wee wummin who are now some of the loudest and I am so proud of them and the progress they have made. Jubilee House is a lifeline. It doesn’t just help you to survive - it teaches you to thrive. I am a wee wummin of Jubilee House. Immensely grateful with friends for life, no longer defined by my abuse.